Dubrovnik – The North Remembers! | Essential travel guide 🇭🇷

Wandering through one of Europe’s most beautiful cities 😍

Setting the scene in Dubrovnik

Firstly, apologies I haven’t written in a couple of months. I managed to squeeze in a couple of extra unplanned trips & have been working hard on setting up my new Tik Tok which you can access here! Fresh off the back on my trip to Finland (post here), I managed to fulfil a bucket list trip & ended up in King’s landing (Dubrovnik). You really can’t quite comprehend the beauty of this place until you visit. It’s as if it is photo shopped & filtered in real time. This article will cover getting around, where to eat/drink, tours & a customary tale or two.

About Dubrovnik…

Dubrovnik has become insanely popular in recent years due to things like Game of Thrones & other productions. In the early 90’s during the Croatian war of independence, unfortunately many people were killed & there was extensive damage to the city. A major effort was undertaken to restore the city using traditional materials, which retains it’s architectural charm & beauty. In recent years there has been efforts to manage tourism in a more sustainable manner, which is understandable, I went in November. You may consider that ‘off-season’ but even then it was still very busy & I can’t imagine how the city would cope with even more people in the Summer. When you visit here, everything is pristine & the people are so proud, it’s hard to imagine the horrors the Croats have endured over their recent history. If you have had the good fortune of not having to live somewhere in a time of war, consider yourself lucky, I certainly do.

Some photos of the trip… 🤳🏼

Fransiscan Monastery
The Red Keep
Blackwater bay
View from Dubrovnik beach
Road to airport
Road to airport
Lapad beach
Sponza Palace
City tour view
Backstreets
Sponza Palace

Story time 📚

When I sit & write my travel stories, I often find them sounding unbelievable or at the very least, a stretch of the imagination. If I was reading these stories from other people, I would certainly have my suspicions around the likelihood of the perpetual chaos engulfing the trips. What is the best way validate their authenticity? To capture them on film, which I have been doing & you can now follow along on my Tik Tok here! (YouTube channel coming shortly)

Ordinarily, I am extra diligent in not losing my possessions, always taking great care of my bags etc. However, such was the beauty of the drive from the airport to Old Town, I spent the whole journey distracted gazing out of the window. I inadvertently misplaced my Scotland shirt, battery pack, tooth brush & phone charger. How do you even lose a shirt on the bus? This wasn’t the worst issue though, the next morning was a national holiday so most of the stores were closed & my phone battery was running low. I needed to find a phone charger & something to wear for my kilt photos quickly. I walked around for 30 minutes in circles trying to find an open store. Doing what any rational man child would do, I gave up, got a couple of cans of beer & went down to the beach to get some sun. My thinking was that everything would work itself out & if it didn’t, I would still be at the beach with cans in the sun. Every cloud has a silver lining. Putting my trust in the gods worked perfectly, after about an hour & 3 cans of beer down, a street seller rocked up to the beach with all sorts of goodies. He sold me a phone charger & very official looking Croatia shirt.

The Croatia shirt & kilt combo went down an absolute treat. The shirt was about 3 sizes too small & I am not exactly a slim chicken, so I had to make do with the situation as best as I could. Trying to make myself look not fat in the photos was an experience in of itself, some shocking attempts for your viewing entertainment can be found here.

On the same street as my little apartment, there was an awesome bar with the most amazing people (shout out to the Betula crew). When I had googled bars to visit ahead of time, I didn’t see it, but I stumbled upon it by chance. They had some form of karaoke & people singing Croatian songs, it was wonderful & I went back every night. I am surprised the locals didn’t string me up for asking the name of every song that was played 😂. Whilst I was there, a local Croatian guy was fighting in the UFC, so the owner put that on the TV, the Croatian guy was an absolute tank & had knocked the other dude down. I was cheering & getting everyone riled up for the win. Alas, once the replay was shown, there was an accidental eye poke & the fight wasn’t over & subsequently had to continue. The Croatian guy ended up losing unfortunately. I looked like a right melon. If you are looking for a top Croatian tune Rijeka Snova is solid starting point 😊

I had a boat tour of the Elaphiti islands lined up, but it was cancelled by the operator sadly. Subsequently, I decided to run an Instagram poll to see what to do instead, stupidly I put an option to Swim to the Islands, which everyone voted for. It turns out that I do not fulfil the physical requirements to pull off such an achievement, but my friends voted for it, so I had to at least try. The effort is what counts but it was truly shambolic & I won’t be attempting it again.

Useful tourist site information & costs🧑🏼‍🎓

There are so many incredible places to visit here. You can go to multiple Museums, Galleries & the city walls if you buy a Dubrovnik pass. The pass costs 40 euros for 1 day, 50 for 3 days & 60 for 7 days. I wish I had bought the pass, but the Old town was so stunning I spent most of my time wandering around admiring the buildings. If I wasn’t there, I was wandering around the bays & beaches, mesmerised. When I return I will absolutely be buying the pass & visiting everywhere 😊

If you are going for the Game of Thrones filming locations, you can take a guided tour & they will articulate everything much better than I ever can. However, if you want to go at your own pace some of the places you should visit are the Jesuit staircase (shame shame shame), The Fort Lovrijenac (Red keep, you have to pay to get in), the Ploce & Pile gates (no entry cost), used for various scenes. Finally, The Dubrovnik West Harbour (free to enter) is used a lot in various scenes at King’s Landing. Other notable places are Lokrum Island (Qarth, which costs to get on boat) & Minceta Tower (the House of the undying).

Where to eat & drink 🍻🍽️

Betula is the best spot for a drink & taking in the local culture in Dubrovnik. So long as you aren’t running around causing mayhem like some Magaluf poster boy, everyone there is so friendly. There is an Irish bar called the Gaffe which is alright, plenty of TV’s for sports & the live singers are pretty good. Buzz bar was good, the staff are sound & the drinks are reasonably priced.

If you want to get out of Old town which is quite expensive, Lapad has a couple of decent bars & places to eat. Sports pub Mario was really good for football matches & the beers were cheaper than in Old Town. There is a great food place called Vito Napoletana Pizzeria. Ordinarily I wouldn’t go to Croatia & eat Pizza, but they had a “Dubrovnik pizza” which reeled me in. Although the Pizza was fresh & the restaurant lovely, the Pizza was garlic, capers, shrimp & anchovies. I should have actually read what was on the Pizza 😂. It tasted great though, it just meant that if someone was silly enough to snog me, they were getting very very stinky breath. Spoiler alert – Fortunately for any potential smoochers, nobody came near me, as is usually the case!

I always try some local dishes, these were included in my boat tour that was cancelled so left me scrambling to try something Croatian. I will have to prepare a better contingency next time!

Getting about

There are lots of hop on & hop off bus tours you can take from outside the Pile gate. Ask for a map before you get on, some take you up the side of the mountains, which is much cheaper than the cable cars.

From the airport, there is an official shuttle bus that is good value & takes you right to the gates of Old town. Once you come out of the exit the stand is up to your right hand side. There are Ubers available but they aren’t cheap, the airport to Old Town was about 20-25 euros for my return leg.

You can rent bikes if you want to go for a leisurely cycle & there are numerous boat tours to get around the islands & coastal areas.

Where to stay 🏨

I stayed at “Private Accomodation Linda” (that isn’t a typo, that is the correct spelling on Google). As always, I am not on commission or anything like that. However, the host was lovely, entry was easy enough & she checked in during my stay to make sure everything was okay. She also left a couple of pastries out for me, along with tea & coffee (the pastries got dusted off in super quick time, before I had even unpacked 😂). The location is perfect & Linda is always on hand to answer any questions, can’t recommend it highly enough.

What is coming next? 🤔

Next up I will be writing about my day trip into some places in Bosnia, which was plagued by a storm of biblical proportions but was an incredible day none the less!

Hit subscribe to get notified when the next post goes live, thanks for reading through & as always, if you have any questions drop me a comment & I will get back to you as soon as possible ❤️

Beyond the Pyramids: My essential guide to navigating the chaos & wonder of Cairo

From haggling taxi’s, to eating Pidgeons, hunting relics & drinking rooftop beers in the sunset. Cairo taught me there is magic to be found in the chaos 😍

My love letter to Egypt

Egypt is the most remarkable melting pot of Cultures, History, Architecture, Artistry, World Cuisines & Grandeur. Traverse through thousands of years of history all the way from the Ancient Egyptians, through Macedonian, Mesopotamian, Roman & Arab rule to Modern day Egypt in all of it’s beauty & charm.

I was so incredibly fortunate to have visited Egypt & it was such a deeply profound experience, that I will always be grateful to have had. As with every country, Egypt does have some issues. In order to really maximise your enjoyment, it is important to plan ahead, know what to look out for (read on for detailed explanations) & take appropriate precautions. All of the major sites are well policed & very safe, so don’t let cultural differences deter you.

Modern day Cairo

Cairo was established as the Capital in 969, however it’s historic roots stretch much further back all the way to the building of the Ancient Babylon Fortress & the early Coptic Orthodox Church. In addition to sharing some stories, This guide to Cairo will include everything you need to know about Tourist Sites, Staying Safe, Food & Drink, Getting Around & Money.

It is important to call out that Cairo is absolutely chaotic, if you want an authentic hustle & bustle experience you should look to stay in Downtown Cairo. It is very busy, very loud & the roads are mayhem (the lanes on the roads are little more than decorative splashes of paint), but you get an intimate cultural experience. Otherwise, if easily overwhelmed, you would be best staying a little further out.

From the moment I stepped out of the airport terminal I was already causing mayhem, there were lots of news reporters, people playing Bongos & a taxi rank which is carnage. Here was me thinking they had rolled out the red carpet & I was now a small time celebrity. However, it turned out there was a homecoming celebration for the Egyptian Paralympic athletes returning. I was so focused on the bedazzling lights in front of me that I didn’t realise I had inadvertently cut off the Paralympic team queued up behind me. I felt awful when I realised what I had done, I am hoping I wasn’t plastered all over the Arab news channels! Little did I know, this was the first of many sticky situations I would get into 🤷‍♂️

Tourist sites ☀️

Cairo has a plethora of extraordinary Tourist sites, I spent over 10 days in Cairo & sadly was unable to see everything I wanted to. If you click the name of the place, it will take you to a specific guide for that site, with all of the information you need to make the most of your visit. Must visit sites; The Egyptian Museum in Cairo (this is where I got an AK47 pointed at me 😂), The Cairo Tower, The Great Pyramids (technically in Giza, but including in this post), Al Azhar Park, Coptic Cairo Complex & Zamalek district.

If you have a lot of time, it is worth considering additional stops, including Armenian Orthodox Patriarchate, Al Azhar Mosque, Al Horreya Garden, Korba District, The Cairo Opera House & Aquarium Grotto Garden.

Some places that I wish I had been able to see were the Citadel Saladin, Cave Church, Museum of Egyptian Civilization, Abdeen Palace (I did rock up but it was closed due to a public holiday) & Khan Al-Khalili Bazaar.

Food & Drink 🍻🍷🍲

Cairo has some of the most incredible food anywhere in the world! Depending on your level of adventurousness with cuisine, you can be trying anything from amazing Shawarma all the way through to Cow brains! Click here for recommendations, along with photos & addresses.

There are lots of really nice bars in Cairo, but it is important to note that it is a very religious country & as such not everywhere will have alcohol. As a consequence, the bars on the streets have blacked out windows, however there are some awesome rooftop bars that I highly recommend. Click here to find out more.

Keeping Safe 🥷🏼

Whilst it pains me to have to write a section like this, I feel like it’s really important to be objective & give you an honest view. As is clear from my post, I love Egypt, the culture & the people. However, some parts are very poor & unfortunately there are some people with nefarious aims. It is a tiny % of the people you will meet, but a tiny % of a big population, is still a big number.

Not everyone is trying to scam you, but a lot of people are trying to sell you things & whilst that in of itself is not a bad thing, it can be a little overwhelming as it is pretty full on depending on where you are.

My general advice for keeping safe is do not take directions from anyone who isn’t a Police officer. Don’t walk great distances between sites (I did, which got me into some sticky situations). Plan out where you are going that day & organise your travel plans. Unless you see a specific store you want to go into, don’t let someone stop you in the street & invite you to their shop etc. Then finally (this was the hardest for me, as I feel it’s very rude), but you have to be comfortable walking away from people in the street & ignore them. Whether they are selling, offering to take you on tours or asking what country you’re from.

Having said that, taking those reasonable measures & planning ahead can minimise those types of interactions you would rather avoid. So please don’t be deterred, I am a man who hasn’t won a fight since I was around 9 years old & that was against a bin & I survived the trip solo. Just keep your wits about you, like a Ninja!

All things money💰

When I visited, the exchange rate was £1 GBP to 63 EGP, which meant that things were very inexpensive. Some places accept card, but not all, so you definitely need to have cash. Some places do not accept cash (i.e the Pyramids ticket office), so you need to ensure you have a card with you too. I used Starling, it was free to join & they didn’t charge any exchange fees, giving you the current market price.

You can bring money into Egypt, but they say no more than 5,000 Egyptian, although nobody asked when I landed. There are cash machines everywhere so withdrawing local currency is easily done. I would look for National Bank of Egypt ATMs & buildings (the badge is green & yellow). These banks have armed police & workers monitoring the cash machines, so it’s all very safe.

Tipping or “Baksheesh” is a part of the culture, if you receive good service you should tip. For good service I tipped around 2/300 Egyptian which seemed to go down well, however you can always tip more. I was on a bit of a budget unfortunately!

Getting around 🚕

There are lots of ways to get around Cairo, I decided to walk most places to get a feel for the city. However, it would have been a better option to use public transport. Uber is ridiculously cheap & saves time haggling with street taxis.

Otherwise, the metro is pretty modern & the new line 3 is lovely!

Thanks for taking the time to read my post & hope you found it useful. I originally wrote this 1 year ago & it was my first ever article. I wanted to come back to it & do a slight re-write now that I understand WordPress reader, categorisations & tags a lot better. Additionally, I have more subscribers who could benefit from the information. If you have found it useful or entertaining I would love it if you followed along, I will shortly be posting about Latvia, Estonia & Finland, where I will be sharing some epic travel fails!

Krakow | The first stop on a mini Euro trip 🇵🇱 🥟

A cracking place for a weekend away 😍

Setting the scene

I was incredibly fortunate to have a couple of weeks off work & some funds saved up to travel around Europe. Usually I love to just wing it & see where the wind takes me. Starting in Krakow, I worked my way up to Riga, through into Tallin & then ‘Finnishing’ up in Helsinki (see what I did there? 🤭). Initially, this was to be a completely solo trip, however my friend decided to join me for the Krakow leg. This somewhat changed the complexion of the trip from a purely cultural & historical visit, to a little culture & lots of beers. As you may expect, things escalated pretty quickly.

About Krakow..

Whilst Krakow is often synonymous with the stag do & party people, it is actually a beautiful city & incredibly well kept. The architecture of the buildings is stunning, the people are really friendly & everywhere is just bustling with life.

Krakow used to be the Polish capital & it’s Old Town is a UNESCO World Heritage site. Whether you are looking for cheap beers & food, or something more cultural & historic, Krakow has it all.

Littered with beautiful Castles, Churches & Cathedrals, you can easily spend an entire day walking around with your head in the clouds. There is a Jewish quarter to learn about the history there, Schindler’s factory & of course Auschwitz Museum is nearby. I only spent 3 days in Krakow & unfortunately it was nowhere near enough time to get through everything, so I shall have to return some day soon.

Story time 📚

If you have ever done a trip on a shoestring budget, you will have played the Ryanair postcode lottery of being sat in random places away from your friends. As my entire row was free, we won the game & my friend came to sit beside me at no extra cost, post take-off. Don’t pay Ryanair extra for specific seats, just wing it 🤭

Traditionally you might associate a bar crawl with marauding morons climbing on statues naked, swinging from chandeliers & diving into water fountains. However, the Krakow one was very well run & we got to meet some lovely people from all over the world. My friend left early for the apartment. We only had one set of keys, so decided to leave them in the lockbox in the stair as it was a key code to get in the stair door. A genius solution that meant nobody would lose the apartment keys. Alas, our genius was undone by a power cut, rendering the key pad to get into the stair nothing more than decoration.

When my friend returned, he ended up just getting a hotel room nearby, but didn’t send me the details. When I got back, I was stuck outside in the middle of the night & it wasn’t particularly warm either, exacerbated by the fact I was in my kilt. I had thought the owner would have lived in one of the other apartments in the block, so called the ‘on call number’ to come & let me in the stair, I felt awful when the worker told me they had to walk from the other side of the city to save me. It also resulted in me having to provide a chunky tip of Polish Zloty for coming to let me in. Normally things that happen after 10pm don’t make the blog, but it was a character building experience 😂.

Despite this less than fortuitous set of circumstances, we must have been very well behaved on the bar crawl, as on the second evening we weren’t on the bar crawl, but we did see the organisers when they were moving between bars & they offered us to join back on for free. I maintain that it was my wonderful magic tricks with the cards, providing untold unparalleled levels of entertainment to the other revellers.

Some photos of the trip… 🤳🏼

Cathedral inside Castle complex
One of the many Cathedrals
View from Castle
Worlds greatest shop, although I was full of Polish dumplings, definitely need to get on a diet!
Lovely Vodka to try
Vodka Cafe
Cool funky bar
Street down from Castle
Random street
The Polish version of ‘Vodka Orange’, this is genuinely attempted murder 😂

Where to eat & drink? 🍻🍽️

We went to a couple of places for food but by far the best was Krakowskie Klimaty & it’s also beside a cool market with lots of little individual stalls. The food here was decent & very well priced. We got 2 lots of Polish dumplings, 2 main courses & 4 pints, costing only £35 including a tip. These days you’d be lucky to get a Big Mac Meal & a Fish Finger Happy Meal in McDonalds for that price! If you want something closer to Old Town, Pierogarnia Krakowiacy was alright. The food wasn’t fantastic but it’s cheap & cheerful (which is code for, they sell decent Vodka).

If you are looking for somewhere to play Pool or watch sports, Diament Billiard Club was incredible. It has lots of tables, TV’s & a good variety of drinks so a great place to start your night. If you want to try different Vodka flavours without breaking the bank, there is a lovely little spot on the edge of Old Town called Wódka Café Bar. Now these types of places are usually tourist traps & there are a lot of them in Krakow, but this was the best I found, you get a paddle of 6 Vodkas & it’s around £10-£15, the staff are awesome too. You can find it at address; “Wódka Café Bar, Mikołajska 5, 31-027 Kraków”

Useful information 🧑🏼‍🎓

If you are staying in & around the old town, everything is within walking distance. Uber isn’t particularly cheap, so I would suggest walking is a good method of getting around. You will also see golf buggy type tours starting on a lot of street corners. These are good ways of getting around the town & up hills etc, however they can be expensive, I would suggest shopping around a couple of different ones before joining as they all have different prices.

If you are looking to pick up some groceries & essentials, Zabka has to be on your list. It is the most incredible corner shop, a true Polish institution. If they opened in the UK, they would blow Spar out of the water! The candy & crisp scene in Poland is absolutely jumping, you need to get a massive goody bag with one of everything while there.

When visiting a bar, if you are looking for the cheapest beer I would suggest Warka, it’s decent enough & usually the cheapest. We found a couple of bars that did 2 euro Warkas, however that is pretty much corporate manslaughter for it to be so cheap. If you order a Vodka orange, they don’t give you it mixed, they give you an orange juice & a double shot of Vodka. If you don’t want to be carted off by the cops, ask for a glass so you can mix it together yourself 😂.

What is coming next? 🤔

Next up I will be posting about Latvia, Estonia & Finland. I am currently in 2026 planning mode & I would love to take any trip recommendations, if I can get there by bus, boat, train or plane, I will go🤠

Hit subscribe to get notified when the next post goes live, thanks for reading through & as always, if you have any questions drop me a comment & I will get back to you as soon as possible ❤️

Knutsford | The UK is awesome mini-series! 🦌

Thrown out of a wine shop, chased by a scary dog & a really important poll at the end! All in a days work, not to be missed 🤠

Setting the scene

In spite of its problems (brutal weather & expensive chip shops), the UK is an awesome place to live with so much to do & see. Given that we have to hibernate for most of the year, I wanted to do a mini series on some wonderful trips you should consider for this Summer that won’t break the bank. From beautiful scenic sprawling countryside to incredible historic towns & cities, the UK has something for everyone! Plus I am more likely to make a nuisance of myself on a domestic trip, which should make for a more interesting blog post. Todays post is about Knutsford & Tatton Country Park, with a very important poll at the bottom, please do vote, even if only anonymously 😊

A bit about Knutsford

Knutsford is a cute little town in Cheshire, England. The name actually goes all the way back to King Canute, if you’re a Viking history nerd, the name will be familiar to you. The town has an interesting history & was very important during the second world war. Unfortunately, it is one of the most expensive places to buy a house in the UK!

There is a famous TV show about bored rich housewives based in the Cheshire region, I haven’t see it but I am always on the lookout for a rich sugar mumma! Alas, I haven’t managed to find one whilst visiting Knutsford 🤭

Story time 📔

Whilst I was sauntering around the town on route to Tatton Park, fortunately by sheer dumb luck I stumbled upon a wine store offering free tastings. Given that it was around 25 degrees & I was melting, a lovely refreshing glass of wine was just what the Doctor ordered. However, I outed myself as a chancer almost instantaneously, it transpires that I in fact have a rather miniscule bank of knowledge pertaining to wine. Some free advice, if you are ever in Majestic wines for a free tasting, you have to at least pretend to be interested in making a purchase. When the worker asks what type of wine you usually like, you don’t have to be a seasoned connoisseur, but at least attempt something more believable than ‘that Red badboy out of Lidl, the £6.99 one’ (I panicked & couldn’t think of anything more realistic!). I was unceremoniously turfed out.

Tatton Park was the real reason for my Knutsford trip, it is the most stunning picturesque country park. All sorts of animals roam freely, there is a cool mansion you can visit & a great little farm with funky animals! Dogs are supposed to be kept on leads, so as not to scare the animals but a dog had escaped it’s constraints. A whole herd of deer came running towards me, which was mildly terrifying & I could hear the dog before I saw it. Suddenly, I was looking for a tree to climb thinking it was an XXXXL Bully coming to eat me for supper, turned out it was the tiniest poodle type dog just trying to play with the deer. Maybe it was a sheep dog in a previous life. Eventually the dog started getting too big for its paws & the deer decided to chase it off, it was a rather amusing sight to behold!

Whilst watching the baby pigs roaming around, I managed to land myself in a live episode of Jeremy Kyle Family Feuds. A pig was snoring loudly, the guy said “Oh it sounds like Grandma”, all hell broke loose. The Grandma was annoyed with the Dad, the Mum was annoyed at Dad for laughing, the toddler was in hysterics at the whole episode!

You should stop by The White Bear, it is the Oldest pub in Knutsford, really cool & authentic, feels a little like a time warp. The building has a lot of the original features, however that means there are a lot of low ceilings & no matter how many signs there are you still club your head on something. So either be really small or make sure & crouch down when entering. I managed to bang my head 3 times, I think that has reduced me to a single digit IQ now. Sometimes it is okay to drink sewer water lager, you don’t always have to go for something new. I decided to be exotic & pick something random, ended up with a Theakston bitter, which was more shambolic than exotic. If that is for you, each to their own, but you won’t catch me on the bitter again! Lesson learned the hard way!

Some cheeky snaps 📸

A big day ahead…
Lovely Lake in Tatton Park
Very expensive photo
Where are the T&C’s?
The absolute guvnor
Beautiful scenery
Very expensive photo
Very expensive photo
Beautiful scenery
Nap time!
Beautiful scenery
Just goating around
Old houses you can go inside
Blurb on White Bear
Inside the White Bear

Useful information 🧑🏼‍🎓

If you walk or cycle to Tatton, entry is free but you have to pay if in car (Around £10 I think per car). Thousands of animals all roam freely in the park, but if you want to go in to see the pigs, lambs, goats, horses & chickens you have to pay extra. This is a little expensive (£10 for an adult), but is well worth it as there is a little play park (although you look weird if you go on it alone & don’t have kids with you). You also get a chance to hold lambs & chicklets, but the events are all on at different times & dates so check ahead.

If you are susceptible to midge bites, I would highly recommend bringing some insect repellent. There are plenty of places to eat & drink, or you can bring a picnic, however if you share your lunch with the sheep you will get a shake down from the park ranger (I did this once & the ranger appeared out of nowhere, like some mad apparition). Tatton park has a variety of events on, ranging from flower shows, to concerts to classic car shows, even if you don’t go for the animals, I highly recommend looking at upcoming events, there is plenty of fun to be had.

The most important poll of all time… 🐷

There are a few different Pigs at Tatton & some of them are rare breeds. All of them are super cute, but each with their own funky personality, one thing they all have in common is they are fat & smell 😂. I am going to make a donation / sponsorship of one of the Pigs on behalf of this blog. Please let me know in the comments or poll which one sounds most like you or that you want me to sponsor. I want to say I am like Lola, although being realistic I am probably closer to Bonnie, slow & lazy!

What is coming next? 🤔

I am going to be posting much more regularly. Next up I will be posting travel guides for some domestic places ahead of Summer! The UK is awesome when the sun comes out, for that whole week once a year. There will be a mini series on spots in the Peak District, then more historical places like Chester, North Wales, Edinburgh & York. Would love to take any recommendations, if I can get there by bus, train or plane, I will go 🤠

Hit subscribe to get notified when the post goes live, thanks for reading through as always, if you have any questions drop me a comment & I will get back to you as soon as possible ❤️

Lanzarote | A surprisingly wonderful trip! 🏝️

Sun, Sand & Sea, the perfect mini Winter getaway!

Setting the scene

Occasionally I will put ‘Everywhere’ into Skyscanner & visit the first place that comes up which I haven’t been to. It has led to some incredible experiences & some less so, but such is the magic of travelling. On this occasion, I landed with Lanzarote in the Canary Islands. Usually I book first & ask questions later, however with Lanzarote I had some slight trepidation.

I knew little of the Island previously, other than it’s reputation for attracting a very particular demographic of UK tourists. I had thought it would be full of rowdy, drunken whoppers that seem to be ubiquitous on some of the Spanish Islands, lacking any sense of propriety (I know, I used to be one of them, many moons ago!). However, I am very glad Skyscanner gave me Lanzarote, I was pleasantly surprised & had a lovely time. It reminded me that it’s important not to allow your pre conceived notions & perceptions to stop you from getting out & experiencing the world for yourself.

Modern Day Lanzarote ⛰️

Lanzarote is one of the Islands in the Canary Archipelago, not far off the coast of Africa. It is the island furthest East & is the only one that has an active Volcano, however it probably won’t erupt while you are there so don’t worry 🤭

I was only there for a few days so missed out on a lot of fun, however you can do all sorts from surfing, to mountain climbing, to sea safaris, to cave exploration or you can just load up on the Cervezas & enjoy the beach!

Given that the region has historically seen a lot of Volcanic activity, the Island is full of beautiful mountains, providing the opportunity to see the most stunning skylines & sunsets.

After spamming Duolingo & learning some basics from Spanish friends, this trip was the first time I tried to only speak in Spanish to locals etc. Given that I am from Scotland, I can barely speak English properly so conversing in Spanish was a challenge! For about 60% of the time I managed to pull it off. However, calling the more senior/elderly ladies ‘senorita’ instead of ‘senora’ definitely doesn’t come off with the level of charm I had thought it would. I definitely need to work on my ‘Rizz’, I think the young folk are calling it these days! 🫣

If you would like to go walking up in the mountains, definitely make sure you plan ahead, sort out travel, take appropriate clothing, provisions & a map or tour guide. Definitely do not rock up in trainers, without any supplies & having sunk 6 or 7 cervezas the night before. Only a dimwit would be so foolish & yes I can confirm I am the aforementioned dimwit 😂.

My visit was the week before Christmas & I stayed in Arrecife, the capital. It was a lot quieter than Peak season which I really enjoyed. On my first day I managed to pick up a pair of Armany (with a Y) sun glasses on the beach for 5 Euros, however I managed to lose them on the first night unfortunately. No matter what you are in the market for, I am fairly certain you can pick anything up at Playa del Reducto for 5 Euros. When I went back to the beach the guy was gone, I managed to find him later in the trip but the replacement Armanys had magically double in price! The gent was an astute businessman indeed 💷

Places worth stopping by! 🏰

As mentioned, I didn’t do nearly enough ‘touristy’ activity. However, It wouldn’t be a travel guide without at least some recommendations. The Castillo de San Gabriel is well worth a visit. The Castle itself isn’t massive however the bridge, beach, pier & surrounding area is really beautiful. You also get a cool view of Arrecife against the background of the mountains.

The Marina Arrecife should definitely be on your list of places to visit. There are lots of shops, bars & awesome boats. It is definitely a dream of mine to have a boat there one day as a retirement retreat. So if you or someone you know is in the market to settle down with a slightly podgy Scottish person who may or may not be a little bit zany, hit me up! We can split the cost of rent, heating & other exponentially growing bills, then use the saved £££ to buy a boat in Lanzarote, solid plan if you ask me! There is also the added benefit that if I am driving you mad, just launch me overboard, the sharks will think you have laid on an all you can eat buffet for them 🦈

View from bridge of Castillo de San Gabriel
Bridge to Castillo de San Gabriel
Charco de San Ginés
Arrecife from Castillo de San Gabriel
Marina Arrecife
Random beach
Charco de San Ginés
Castillo de San Gabriel
Christmas sand castle display
Random beach
Random Street
Marina Arrecife
Arrecife from Castillo de San Gabriel
View from the Marina
Random beach
Charco de San Ginés
Lizard Point Lighthouse Pier View

Where to eat & drink? 🍻🍽️

Unfortunately I didn’t get many photos of the bars or restaurants I visited. However a couple of decent bars to check out are Manhattan Cocktail Bar & Mojito’s Lounger Bar. They are on the same street & close to beach. Manhattan has an American pool table in the back, lots of decent drinks & you can get shisha if that’s your thing (I didn’t try it so can’t say if any good). Next to Manhattan there is a cool little Italian pizza place called Pizzeria La Sonrisa that I enjoyed. If you want something more authentic, Malecon was awesome! It is on the waterfront at Charco de San Gines & had amazing food!

Money 💰

There are cash machines dotted around the Island, however I just paid on card & used Starling as they have no fees. I took 150 in cash I think & that covered me for about 3 days. If you aren’t smashing back the cervezas you could get away with spending a lot less.

The tipping culture isn’t as prevalent as some places I have visited, but if you receive good service, throw in a few Euros, don’t be tight!

Getting around 🚕

Lanzarote does not have Uber, but there are regular taxis. You can rent bikes & the buses are pretty decent too, although the timetable is more of a guess than as actual plan.

On the first night I ended up at a party on other side of Island with some Moroccan lads I met & had to take a taxi back at 1/2 in the morning, it was around 30 Euros from one side of Island to the other. Lets just say the driver wasn’t exactly shy on the accelerator either 😂

Bonus tip ✅

Usually in this section I would share some really useful information on keeping safe, or some little anecdote. However, what I am about to share is the most important piece of information on this blog.

If you are planning on doing some snogging, bin that idea immediately, find the nearest corner store & get a bag of these badboys in. They are unparalleled in the crisp world, you will suffer crisp induced halitosis for days, no amount of toothpaste or mouthwash will get rid of the stench. But believe me when I say, these are a Jewel in the Spanish crown. Increíble!

What is coming next? 🤔

Next up I will be writing about a recent trip to Alicante. It will cover a fair few incidents from trying to convince a local that Take that were Spanish, to being accosted by a mental birthday party, to visiting some of the most wild west Bars I have ever been in, definitely not one to miss! Hit subscribe to get a notification when it goes live ❤️